The Madness of Marbles
I remember as kid when dad brought home the 8-bit Nintendo Entertainment System, the smell of the new plastic out of the box, the gray light gun zapper, the envy of the kids that got the RED light gun zapper, and soon to follow the handfuls of games he started buying or renting.
One of those games was Marble Madness, which debuted in 1984 as an arcade video game.
The concept of the game was to get the marble ball to the goal line within the allotted amount of time, while avoiding falling off path, different “monsters”, and other nefarious pitfalls. It sounds really fun. It’s really not.
It was, until recently, one of the most frustrating games I think every created. Not only is it INCREDIBLY easy to fall off the borderless checkerboard path you narrowly navigate, but your marble is made out of fickle candy glass, as one second you’re trying to cheat the game by super rolling off what you think is a high ledge onto a seemingly slightly lower one, and then you realize physics didn’t really make it into games 25 years ago, and that 3D isometric view is really not 3D at all.
As a child, this game inspired many tantrums, controller throwing/bashing-against-the-floor fits, and general disarray. So I decided, as an adult armed with some emulators and roms, that maybe, just MAYBE, I could go back and conquer the beast.
Well, I found out as an adult, this game inspired many tantrums, keyboard throwing/bashing-against-the-desk fits, and some anger induced drinking. Even with the save-state feature of most emulators, which allow you to save and pause the game at any given waking moment, this was still a hard game of epic proportion. But after a few nights of grinding my teeth and dreaming of smashed marbles, I finally beat it. The monkey was off my back. Or so I thought.
Enter the Monkey Ball.
Super Monkey Ball debuted in North America on the Nintendo Gamecube in 2001. The premise is that you are a little monkey that rolls around in a clear plastic ball, while avoiding falling off narrow ledges with no walls, maneuvering obstacle courses, and on top of it, collecting little yellow bananas while trying to reach the goal posts. Gee. This seems familiar.
This game is EPICLY HARD. We had a group of four hardcore gamers armed with 30 packs of beer sit down and try to beat this game, which lead to broken controllers, hurt feelings, and binge drinking. If you think you are a calm and cool person, you have never played Monkey Ball. It makes Marble Madness pale in comparison to it’s frustrating nature. If traveling through the insane, 3D obstacle courses of spinning, gyrating, and flipping land masses doesn’t cause you a brain aneurysm, being required to collect those freaking bananas will. And your treat for beating a level? A baby-like coo of the Monkey. If this is supposed to be a kids game, Japanese children should be feared for their motor skills are clearly superior to ours and they have mastered rolling their balls.
With the advent of the Wii, there are now new Monkey Ball games. I cannot say how it is, but I can only imagine the flailing of arms and that plastic nunchaku spinning around Michaelangelo-Ninja-Turtle style towards the nearest living creature in a vent of frustration.
The legacy lives on!
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I remember you playing Marble Madness as a kid. It was a very hard game and not one that I myself enjoyed playing. Didnt it also cause medical seizures when kids played it too long?
Never played MM, but I have played copious amounts of Super Monkey Ball, specifically the one on the GameCube. LOVE that game.
But….. I never played the single player. That must be why I remember not getting frustrated at all! ^_^
Hey Jordan, was on the JB brewing site and decided to click on this link, wow does this game bring back memories, I’m with Tyson, it was a hard game and i remember i did’nt really enjoy it that much because it was so hard. what was the name of the game I brought back from Calif. when you were about six years old and you and I sat up until about 3 o’ clock a.m. playing cuz we did’nt want to quit and your mom was a tad upset?
Anyway great memories, haven’t played any games for about a year and a half now, maybe someday, still have some James Bond to play and beat on PLAYSTATION.
Well gotta run, have to check out a web site for my multi-cultural class tommorow night.
Love Dad
I believe Dad is referring to Bubble Bobble.